


Colors

by Im_still_here



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Color! AU, I'm sorry for this, Joelay (Kind of), angst joelay, its sad, joelay - Freeform, kind of major character death, platonic Joel and Burnie, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2755052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_still_here/pseuds/Im_still_here
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Joel sorta kinda meets his soul mate.</p><p>It's one of those soul mate fics where everybody sees black and white until they see their soul mate and then they see color.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Colors

**Author's Note:**

> So I had to write this for a school assignment but I had wanted to write it forever. It's implied Joelay sorta kinda. Sorry for the huge glaring errors.
> 
> Also didn't feel comfortable using Burnie's children's name so, yeah.

Joel found himself walking down the same street that he does everyday, Monday through Friday. He plows his way through the busy New York streets, bumping into strangers without so much of a glance backwards in apology. People and buildings pass by him in a blur of black and white, and every mundane color of gray that falls between. Joel realizes that would be the word to describe his life, mundane. As he walks down the busy sidewalk, he glares at the families around him, at the couples happily holding hands, at the people smiling. He passes a man in rags sitting on the ground holding an empty can and a sign that reads ‘Lost my job, Lost my house, Lost my color. Please Help’. Joel passes him by and throws the spare change in his pocket into the can.  
Running a hand through his already messy jet black hair, he digs into his pocket to retrieve his phone. The home screen displays a message from Burnie. Don't stay at the office too late. We are waiting to cut Dalton’s cake until you get here. It’s accompanied with an emoticon of some balloons and a turtle, and Joel just rolls with it. His gaze lazily flashes upwards to make sure he doesn’t bump into any poles or anything else one would find on the street in New York City. Joel is met with an unfamiliar sensation. A dull burning spreads across his temples, it’s not quite painful, but it’s the opposite of pleasant. His vision turns into a hot flash of white, and he stops instantly in his tracks. People around him shove him around with various shouts and insults. Joel’s breath starts to come in short, hot pants, and then as quickly as it left, the world returns to him. Except it’s not the same New York he knew before. People pass by in flashes of color. Color.  
¨Everybody! Stop!” Joel yelps out in a panicked haste. ¨Help! Somebody help me! Color! I can see color!¨  
¨Go home you loon.” Someone shoves him aside as they pass by.  
¨No please. Who is it? Who else can see it? Color. I can see color. Somebody please help me.” His voice cracks on various syllables and he spins in frantic circles. He stumbles around screaming for help until his back hits a wall and he collapse to the ground. Part of him tells him to immediately get off the sidewalk because, wow, this is New York City and the ground is disgusting. However, his mind is elsewhere. His hands are tangled in his hair and his icy blue eyes are blown out wide. Air leaves him in heavy pants and he knows the familiar feeling. Joel knows he’s having a panic attack, and why wouldn’t he? He had a panic attack once because Burnie forgot to put sugar in his coffee one morning.  
He taps the screen of his phone until it stops vibrating in his hand, and he shakely brings it up to his ear.  
¨Joel, where the hell are you? We’ve been waiting for an hour for you! It’s Dalton’s birthday for crying out loud! I can’t...¨ Burnie's quick voice flows into his ears, and Joel barely processes the information before he finally tries to form words. It’s been an hour?  
¨Burnie, I need help,” Joel responds. His voice is deep and crackly.  
¨No, Joel, you need to be at my house in the next five minutes or we're going to have a problem,¨ Burnie snaps back.  
¨Please, I can see, Burnie. I can see.¨ He manages to gasp out.  
¨Yes, you can see, I can see, everyone with eyes and isn’t blind can see.¨  
¨Color. I can see color. Burnie, Please help me.¨  
¨Joel, what the hell is going on? That’s something good! Whoever it is, I don’t care. Bring your soulmate here.¨  
¨No. I don’t know who it is, but I can see. I can see color, but I don’t know who it is,” Joel whines. “Please, come help.”  
He’s meet with a deep sigh and, “Do you have your phone finder app on?” Which was the result of many drunk nights, and Joel asking Burnie to navigate him home.  
Joel nods before he remembers he’s on the phone,” Yes.”  
“I’ll be there as fast as I can.”  
* * *  
Eventually, Joel finds himself on Burnie’s couch with two children in front of him and Burnie’s wife slipping a warm mug into his hands.  
“Daddy, what’s wrong with uncle Joel?”  
“Is he broken?”  
“Mommy, fix him.”  
“Yeah, make him better.”  
“Boys I’m fine,” Joel states, gaze fixed on the wall.  
“Not nice to lie uncle Joel.” The youngest says, climbing onto the couch next to him, and proceeding to poke him in the side. Joel turns his head to look at him.  
“Zach, I’m fine, where's the cake?” He questions, voice cracking somewhere in there and he forces a smile followed by a subtle cringe.  
“We already ate,” Burnie’s wife, Ashley, informs him as she sits down in the love seat across from him.  
“Oh.”  
“What happened Joel?” Burnie asks him. Burnie takes a seat next to Ashley, making sure their thighs are touching, and wraps a lazy arm around her. Joel watches his arm with cold stare before turning to the kid on his right.  
“I forgot your gift at my apartment. I’m sorry, Dalton,” Joel whispers. His eyes blank and his face is pale.  
“That’s okay Uncle Joel,” Dalton mumbles standing on the couch and wrapping his arms around his neck. Joel makes himself wrap an arm loosely around his back. The kid was eight and he’d already met his soulmate. He didn’t even know what it meant yet.  
“Kids, why don’t you go play with Dalton’s new toys,” Ashley’s calm voice washes over them. The kids quickly race down the hall, leaving the adults alone. Ashley’s sympathetic gaze settles on Joel.  
“What happened?”  
“I don’t know.” His shoulders slump and his head falls into his hands.  
“Joel we need to know what happened so we can help.” Burnie prompts him.  
“I can, I don’t know, I can see colors. I never actually saw my color, but I can see colors.”  
“What does that mean Joel? Tell us what happened. Step by step.” Burnie instructs, as if he’s talking to a child who did something wrong.  
“I was just walking down the street and then I looked up from my phone, I got a headache. Then I could see color. I freaked out. No one helped me. I called you.” Joel’s breathing starts to grow shaky again. He leans back against the couch, bows his head, and pinches the bridge of his nose. The lights in the room are too bright, and Joel’s senses are overwhelmed with the color. He notices that his pants are a different color than his suit jacket.  
“I don’t - um- I don’t think my color saw me though.” Joel sighs out.  
“ Well you don’t know that Joel.” Ashley tries to soothe him.  
“I wouldn’t have been the only person freaking out if they had.” He mutters pitifully.  
“Well you’re not exactly the best at handling these kinds of situations.” Burnie tries to settle the air by making a weak attempt at a joke.  
“What would you have done?” Joel bites back.  
“Joel, I’m just trying to help.”  
“Well unless you find my soulmate there’s nothing you can do.” He shouts as he stands from the couch, spilling some of the hot tea onto his shirt. He bites back a hiss as he sets the mug on the table.  
“I’m going home.”  
“Do you really think that’s the best idea?” Ashley questions.  
“Yes. I can’t be here right now.” Both Burnie and Ashley flinch slightly at the harsh words.  
“Boys, I’m leaving!” Joel calls into the house, and the sound of small footsteps chase the words.  
“Uncle Joel! You didn’t even have a piece of cake yet!” Dalton cries as if it’s the most ludicrous thing he’s ever heard. He clings to Joel’s leg and Zach quickly grabs onto the other. They begin chanting a mantra about how Joel can’t leave.  
“I’m sorry. I really have to go,” Joel whispers.He bends down to their level, and spreads his arms open for a hug. Both kids throw themselves around his neck. His arms wrap around their backs, and his hands tangle into their hair, ruffling it affectionately. He notices that they both have the same hair color as Burnie. He doesn’t know the name of it but it’s dark. Not the normal black that it was before, but it’s dark, and that’s the only way Joel knows how to describe it.  
* * *  
Joel spends weeks scouring the internet for information on how to find his soulmate. He goes on forums asking for help, and spams every social media site asking for people who would have been near him on that day. Every day he follows the same routine. On Mondays through Thursdays he wears a black suit. A red tie adorns his chest on Mondays, green on Tuesdays, purple on Wednesdays, and red again on Thursdays. On Fridays he wears a navy blue suit with a matching tie. Everything is routine for him now. It keeps him sane.  
As a child he never learned the colors, no one did. That was until they could see them. It was rare to meet one's soulmate until the age of 10, therefore most people lived in black and white until then. Many continued that bland life until the age of twenty. A majority of people met their color before the age of 25. Almost everybody had met theirs by the age of 35. However, in some cases, like Joel’s, they don’t meet their soulmate until the ripe age of 39. Others went their whole life without meeting them.  
Everyday Joel practiced his colors as he walked down the street to his job on Wall Street. Red shirt. Blue jeans. Yellow cab. Green signs. Most people explained seeing colors as a beautiful thing. Joel didn’t see that way. Seeing colors hurt. It made a slow ache ebb through his body every day, because it was just a reminder of the fact that he didn’t know who his soulmate was. He often found himself having to close his eyes because he experienced sensory overload. He found the black behind his eyelids comforting, it was familiar.  
Every night he visits the liquor store on the same street as his apartment complex. The two night crew clerks know him by name now. Every night he buys a bottle of liquor, and every other night a pack of cigarettes.  
On the odd night he will go visit the Burns family, for the sake of Dalton and Zach. Every night they ask him the same set of questions.  
“Why don’t you visit as much anymore, Uncle Joel?”  
“I’ve been working late, Dalton.”  
“Why dont you take us out to for lunch on Sundays anymore?”  
“I go out of town on Sundays, Zach.”  
“Do you still love us, Uncle Joel?”  
That’s the question that breaks Joel’s heart. Dalton and Zach practically feel like his kids, and in a weird way they are. Being around the Burns makes his heart break even more though. He’s happy for Ashley and Burnie, considering he was the reason they meet in the first place.However, a dagger twist in his heart every time he sees the twinkle in Ashley’s green eyes every time she sees Burnie, and vice versa.  
Dalton even brought his soulmate around for Joel to meet. Joel tries his best not to grimace at the wide smile set on both of their faces. Dalton drags around the boy with blonde hair and bright blue eyes. The world is wonderful through their eyes.  
“Why don’t you smile anymore, Uncle Joel?”  
* * *  
Months pass by, and Joel still follows his normal routine. Everyday the colors get dimmer and dimmer. He spends most nights alone. Burnie visits him on Sunday nights to scream at him in his drunken stupor.  
“Snap out of it, Joel!”  
“Move on, Joel!”  
“You’re wasting your life just sitting here, doing nothing!”  
“Dalton and Zach miss you!”  
“I miss my by best friend.”  
“You need help.”  
* * *  
One morning, well after a year has passed, Joel knows something is wrong before he even opens his eyes. A dull pain spreads through his temples, and he remembers feeling it only once before. Once his eyelids flutter open all he is met with is white, which makes him flinch backwards. The white slowly begins to fade and he’s met with his bedroom, except everything is all wrong. The room around him is dull and lifeless. He scrambles quickly out of bed, falling in the process, and crawls over to the window. Hefting himself up by the windowsill, Joel peers down at the city below him.  
“No,” he whispers. “No. No. No. This isn’t happening.”  
His voice starts to raise until he’s screaming, thinking if he screams about it enough it will changes something. Eventually, he collapses onto the ground in a pile of sobs, as he claws at his clothes and his own skin. The tears burn his skin, and he has to make an effort to stop himself from throwing up on the floor, from a combination of both the alcohol he had consumed last night and the fact that he was crying so hard. Joel feels like a toddler throwing a tantrum, but he doesn’t know what else to do.  
Suddenly he feels himself being shaken awake and the first thing he thinks is ‘It was all just a dream’. When his eyes peel open he realizes that he had too much hope in happy endings. Burnie’s face swims into view, and a disgusted look placates his face.  
“What the hell are you doing, Joel?” Burnie questions, and Joel just stares back with empty eyes. “Skipping work is something you do now?”  
“Go away, Burnie.”  
“Joel, It’s been over a year. You need to move on.”  
“Lucky for you, the color is gone,” Joel spits venom at him. Burnie stares at him like he’s grown a second head, before a look of realization washes over him.  
“Oh my god Joel. I’m so sorry.”  
“Leave it, Burnie. You should leave too.”  
“I don’t think leaving you alone is a very good idea right now.  
“Leave!” Joel screams at him. Burnie leans down to help him up, and Joel lets out an almost animalistic growl. “Leave me alone!”  
“Joel I’m trying to help you,” Burnie tries to stay calm as he grips him by the arm and drags him upright. Burnie grips him by the shoulders, and inspects Joel’s face. His face is red and blotchy and his eyes are swollen.  
“I’m so sorry, Joel.” Joel buries his face into his shoulder and his body shakes with broken sobs. No tears come, because he’s all dried out. Burnie treats him like a child, making shushing sounds and rocking him back and forth.  
“It’s going to be okay, Joel.”  
* * *  
Joel finds himself surrounded by a bunch of strangers he doesn’t want to be with, which isn’t much different from walking down the streets of New York City every day. He’s here upon Burnie’s request, even though he refused several times. Glaring at the people around him, he bites at his fingernails, a bad habit he has picked up. People are telling their sob story, and Joel is getting more and more frustrated the longer he sits there. He feels like he’s at a party for sad people.  
It took months for Burnie to convince him to go to a support group. Everyone here had lost a soulmate at some point in their life. However, there was one difference between Joel and everyone else in the room. They had all met their color. Joel continues to sigh heavily and rolls his eyes, reminding himself of a teenage girl.  
“What about you, Mr. Heyman?” The lady in charge asks as her gaze settles on Joel. Joel lets out a heavy sigh and surveys the people around him.  
“You all got off lucky,” Joel spits out. “I never even met my soulmate. I saw them walking down the street, and then never them again. I don’t know why you are all here feeling sad for yourselves. You all fell in love. You were happy. I waited for over 30 years to meet my soulmate and when I finally do, I never actually meet them. For months I have had nightmares every night of my color dying. I have seen them get hit by a car, and die in a plane crash. I have seen them at the end of the gun, and suffer from cancer. I have seen them die by my own hand, and I don’t even know what they look like. You all got to say goodbye, and I never even got to say hello.” He stands up and grabs his coat, making a quick exit. Burnie is waiting outside on a bench, and catches Joel by the arm.  
“Joel are you okay?”  
“No, Burnie, I’m not,” Joel mutters as he shakes his head and wrenches his arm out of his hand.  
* * *  
Joel finds himself on the bank of the river, a bouquet of roses clutched tightly in his hand. He glares at the murky water and sinks to the ground, resting his chin on his knees. He pulls one of the roses out, noting somewhere in his mind that their is still thorns on the stem. The tiny, sharp pain is kind of soothing. Tossing the rose in the water he thinks about the brilliant color they should be, and once were for him. One by one he slowly tosses them into the river and watches as they float away. He wonders what they would look like sitting in a nice vase on his kitchen counter, the love of his life smelling them every morning and admiring the beautiful hue of red. He wonders how they would look propped up against a gravestone. A sad smile adorns his face, and Joel realizes he’s crying.  
“We could have been so in love,” Joel whispers to himself, as the last rose floats out of view. He swears he saw a flash of red.


End file.
